PART II

Assessing Mindful Choices for Well-Being

Chapter 4: Mindful Choices For Well-Being

Life Strategies for Personal Mastery and Choosing the Life You Want

Self-Assessment

DIRECTIONS

The Mindful Choices Self-Assessment presents you with one hundred statements divided into ten major categories.

There are ten statements (a – J) within each category, hence ten scores to be added together, and divided by two, for a category total.

There is a possible range of 0 to 20 total points within each category. Your task is to read each statement and choose the number that best represents agreement with your behavior for the past week if this is your initial or monthly assessment, or for the previous 24 hours if focusing on only one choice area and this assessment is part of your ongoing daily self-improvement effort for that specific Choice. For each statement, you will choose one of five descriptors, each with a different point value. The choices are:

Virtually never true, or 0% (0 points) Rarely true, or 25% (1 point)

Sometimes true, or 50% (2 points)

Often true, or 75% (3 points)

Consistently true, or 95-100% (4 points)

Each letter (a – J) on the Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet represents one of the ten statements. Record the number that best applies to a particular statement on your scoring sheet. Total your scores, divide by 2, and add the ten scores and transfer your total score to the Profile Sheet

Mindful Choice 1 Self-Assessment

BREATH AWARENESS AND RETRAINING

Self-Assessment

DIRECTIONS: Under each description, choose the number that best represents agreement with your behavior for the past week if this is your initial or monthly assessment, or for the previous 24 hours if this assessment is part of your daily self-improvement effort for a specific Choice.

Record the number that best applies on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

0= not true at all, or 0%, 1= mostly not true, or 25 %, 2= partially true, or 50%, 3= largely true, or 75% 4=totally true, or 95-100%

1. I Engage in Daily Breathing Practice. I practice diaphragmatic breathing for at least 10 minutes daily, focusing on breathing from my diaphragm (belly breathing) in such a manner that my abdomen is expanding with each inhalation while there is little movement in my upper torso. My intent is to have my breath be as gentle, natural, and quiet as possible. Whenever my thoughts drift to other matters, I gently bring my thoughts back to a focus on my breathing. Although continuous practice is preferable, it’s quite all right to practice by way of a number of “mindful pauses,” during which I take three deep, slow, gentle, quiet diaphragmatic breaths.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Frequently Check in with Myself. I frequently check in with myself during the day (preferably at least once per hour) observing my physical state. I am aware when I am responding to stressors by being up-tight with rapid or shallow upper chest breathing and increased muscle tension. (Note: circle 4 if "up-tight, rapid or shallow upper chest breathing with increased muscle tension" did not occur today).

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Use Shallow Upper Chest Breathing as a Cue. I am able to use my awareness of my upper chest rapid or shallow breathing and resulting up-tight feelings as a sign of rising anxiety and stress levels, and use that awareness as a signal or cue to consciously begin calming myself. (Note: circle 4 if "upper chest rapid or shallow breathing and resulting up-tight feelings" did not occur today).

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I am Aware of the Physical Reaction/Self Talk Connection. I am able to pay attention to self-talk co-occurring with shallow or upper chest breathing. I am aware my physiological state

is a result of things my mind is telling me and that my body is responding with heightened physiological arousal. I am able to tune into my self-talk while seeing the relationship between thinking and my physical response.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Have a Growing Awareness of My Breath. Having begun with the intention to pay more attention to my breathing (an intention continuously strengthened with daily practice), I find myself experiencing a greater awareness of my breath throughout the day.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Use My Breathing to Slow Down. I am able to use awareness of my breath to regulate the pace of my day. Paying attention to my breath helps me be aware of the need to slow my pace and consequently shift gears to a pace that is more reasonable and helpful in my overall stress management and ability to mindfully focus my attention.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. Breath Awareness and Retraining are Top Priorities. I view breath awareness and breath retraining as essential to my stress reduction and well-being.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Use My Breath as a Relationship Tool. Paying attention to my breath helps me be centered and present in relationships, giving me the ability to show up fully present in the moment, being the person I want to be in the relationship.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. My Breath is Helping Me Listen Better and Be More Compassionate. Paying attention to my breath and breathing deeper, slower, more regularly and more quietly is helping me be more attentive, focused, less reactive, a more patient listener, and more compassionate with others.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. Breath Awareness and Retraining is Helping Me Let Go of Barriers to Change. Breath awareness and retraining is helping me let go of judgment, resentment, defensiveness, emotional reactivity, and resistance to change, qualities that have been limiting my own peacefulness and growth.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

Enter your total score on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

Mindful Choice 2 Self-Assessment

BEGIN AND END YOUR DAY PEACEFULLY

DIRECTIONS: Under each description, choose the number that best represents agreement with your behavior for the past week if this is your initial or monthly assessment, or for the previous 24 hours if this assessment is part of your daily self-improvement effort for a specific Choice.

Record the number that best applies on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

0= not true at all, or 0%, 1= mostly not true, or 25 %, 2= partially true, or 50%, 3= largely true, or 75% 4=totally true, or 95-100%

1. I Begin My Day with Intention. I ask myself: “What do I want?” I begin my day with a clear, strong, and committed intention for a peaceful, low-stress day. I intend to effectively manage stress and anxiety throughout my day utilizing diaphragmatic breathing, self-calming skills, and corrective self-talk.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Begin My Day Checking in with My Breath. I ask myself: “What's happening with my breath?” Soon after awakening, I check in with myself (thoughts, feelings, physical state) and quickly become aware of my breath, beginning the first round of diaphragmatic breathing. At a minimum, I take three full, deep diaphragmatic breaths, slowly exhaling while imagining all stress leaving my body.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Begin My Day Checking in with My Self-Talk. I ask myself: “What's happening with my self-talk? What’s happening in my head? ” Soon after awakening, I am aware of my self-talk and purposely shift away from stress generating self-talk (such as fight-talk or fear-talk), instead shifting to peaceful and self-calming inner dialogue.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Choose My Tempo. I ask myself: “What speed do I want to travel at?” Soon after awakening, I become conscious of the tempo of my life, the speed in which I am beginning my day. I consciously shift to "cruise mode," committing myself to utilizing my “cruise control” to move through my day at a reasonable, low-stress pace, not allowing anyone or anything to change my speed to a tempo more characteristic of high anxiety and high stress.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Begin My Day with A Mindful Breakfast. I begin my day by taking time for a relaxing, enjoyable, low-stress, high-nutrition breakfast, utilizing for the first time in my day the practice

of "mindful eating." I take the time to slow down and thoroughly appreciate and enjoy my breakfast. I strive for a meditative stress-free opportunity to connect positively with my food, my body, and my life.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I End My Day on a Positive Note. I end my day by reminding myself that this is not a time for tension, struggling, and problem solving, but a time of finding a peaceful alternative to the day’s stresses. I recognize my need to slow down, let go, and enjoy life. I feel worthy and deserving of having a good and happy life. I shift my focus to a here-and-now awareness of things I am grateful for in the present moment.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I End My Day Giving up Having to Control or Fix Anything or Anyone. I end my day resolving to actively deal with real issues tomorrow, but for now letting go of controlling or having to fix anything or anyone. I also end my day practicing what is known as "loving detachment," knowing that I care about others and what happens to them, but I am not responsible for them and I do not have the responsibility of controlling their behavior (young children are the exception). By practicing "loving detachment," I allow others the freedom to take responsibility for their own problems and consequently for their own growth.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I End My Day with Self-Acceptance and Self Compassion. I am conscious of my inner dialogue and specifically my self-talk about myself. Is it harsh, nagging, and self-critical, or is it calm, encouraging and self-accepting? I choose the latter. I make a conscious effort to turn down the volume on negative self-talk, instead compassionately accepting myself without self- criticism, self-evaluation, or harsh self-judgments.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. Day by Day, I’m Coping Better. I end my day aware of my increasing ability to cope with life’s challenges. I have a growing ability to stop thinking negatively about myself and others, and a growing awareness of my needs and my ability to be successful at getting my needs met. Increasingly, I’m practicing the Serenity Prayer, letting go of things I can’t control and finding the courage to actively deal with the things I can change.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Choose My Ending Tempo. I end my day once again conscious of the tempo of my life, the speed in which I have been traveling through my day. I consciously shift to a peaceful and relaxing state, perhaps engaging in some diaphragmatic breathing. I quiet my self-talk and focus on a positive attitude with peaceful thoughts and images.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

Enter your total score on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

Mindful Choice 3

MINDFUL EATING

Self-Assessment

DIRECTIONS: Under each description, choose the number that best represents agreement with your behavior for the past week if this is your initial or monthly assessment, or for the previous 24 hours if this assessment is part of your daily self-improvement effort for a specific Choice.

Record the number that best applies on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet (CSA).

0= not true at all, or 0%, 1= mostly not true, or 25 %, 2= partially true, or 50%, 3= largely true, or 75% 4=totally true, or 95-100%

a. I Give Myself Time for Mindful Eating. I allow sufficient time for regular meals, excluding time spent shopping or in meal preparation. I give myself plenty of time to sit down, free of other activities, and eat mindfully.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

b. I am Able to Eat without Distraction. I take full advantage of the opportunity to utilize mealtime as a break from my usual responsibilities. This means that I do not "multitask" during my meal. I give full attention to the process of eating with enjoyment and gratitude, and with no distractions. I refrain from focusing on any unfinished tasks. I do not engage in problem solving. I’m not eating and watching TV, watching sports or a movie on my electronic device, playing computer games, checking my emails, surfing the web, or doing anything else. When I’m eating, I’m eating. Period! Here is the exception – if I am eating with friends or family, I engage with them but I still take the time to slow down, be fully present with my food, noticing what I am eating and how I am eating.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

c. I Eat Relaxed. I slow down my eating, taking a relaxed, meditative approach to my meal. I am conscious of my breathing, muscle tension, and stress level, and I do not attempt to eat while experiencing high stress or worry. I first take the time to "move my center" from my upper, torso to my lower torso and abdomen, engaging in diaphragmatic breathing and relaxing tense muscles. I simultaneously soften and redirect my self-talk to a focus on a peaceful and enjoyable meal.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

d. I Not Only Eat Slowly, I Also Savor My Food. I focus on enjoying my meal by slowing down my eating and being conscious of every bite. I fully experience various tastes and try to have an awareness of my food that allows me to "savor" what I am eating.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

e. I Eat with Gratitude and Appreciation. I Eat with Gratitude and Appreciation. I experience gratitude and appreciation for my food, feeling privileged to have an opportunity to give to myself, and conscious of the complex pathway from initial food production to the food being available to me. I am appreciative of whoever has prepared the food for me. I am conscious of the full benefit of the food to my health and well-being. I appreciate high-quality food.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

f. Eating As a Metaphor. I view the way I approach food as a metaphor for how I approach my life, recognizing that if I multitask while eating, skip meals, eat junk food, or eat rapidly, I’m probably dealing with my life much the same way. At the same time I am changing my eating patterns, I am becoming more self-accepting, having a more peaceful and appreciative relationship not only with food, but with myself as well

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

g. I Have an Awareness of Real Hunger. I am fully aware of why I am eating, able to tell if I am actually hungry or simply triggered by environmental cues or emotional needs. I am able to ask myself if it’s my stomach or my head that is hungry, slowing down, relaxing, and getting clear on whether or not I am actually hungry and what it is I really want to eat.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

h. My Food Choices Are Based on Actual Need and Valuing of Good Nutrition. I choose meals and snacks based not upon cravings, habit or emotion, but instead based upon awareness of real hunger and the need to nourish myself in healthy and fulfilling ways.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

i. I Invest Time in Learning About Food and Meal Planning. I take the time to plan for meals and good nutrition. I am interested in learning more about eating healthily, and make it a high priority. I’m making healthy eating and mindful eating an essential part of my lifestyle, and a practice solidly connected to my values.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

j. I’m Slowing the Pace of My Eating and the Pace of My Life. I am able to slow the pace of my life along with the pace of my eating, being fully aware when things in my life have caused me to speed up to such a degree it is hard to notice what I’m eating. I consciously alter my pace and engage in slow, conscious, and deliberate “mindful eating,” determined to focus fully on the food and enjoy every bite. I’m also committed to slowing the pace of my life.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

Enter your total score on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

Mindful Choice 4

CULTIVATING MINDFULNESS AND STAYING PRESENT

Self-Assessment

DIRECTIONS: Under each description, choose the number that best represents agreement with your behavior for the past week if this is your initial or monthly assessment, or for the previous 24 hours if this assessment is part of your daily self-improvement effort for a specific Choice.

Record the number that best applies on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet (CSA).

0= not true at all, or 0%, 1= mostly not true, or 25 %, 2= partially true, or 50%, 3= largely true, or 75% 4=totally true, or 95-100%

1. I Practice Present Moment Awareness. Throughout my day, I am aware of being in the present moment with whatever I am doing, whether it is eating, walking, sitting, working on a task or simply observing something. Being in the present moment means that I am attending only to what is happening to me in that moment, striving to let go of thoughts involving the past or the future and giving full attention and awareness to information coming in from all of my senses

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Regularly Check In With Myself. Throughout my day, I engage in Mind/Body checks as a means of preventing stress from building up, or as a means of becoming more aware of my stress level and purposefully decreasing it. I utilize Mind/Body checks as a way of taking brief breaks from my usual activity to tune into my present state with full awareness.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Am Mindfully Aware of Physical Tension. Throughout my day, I am often aware of areas of tension in my body, and I allow myself to gently relax those areas.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Life Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Am Mindfully Aware of Thoughts and Feelings. Throughout my day, I take the time to become aware of what is happening in my mind and emotions, adopting a passive observer attitude and just making a mental note of my thoughts and feelings. Once aware, I focus on my breathing, quieting mental chatter. I am able to use conscious breathing to stay focused in the moment and not get caught up in fighting my thoughts or avoiding them.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Use Mental Reminders For Self-Calming. Throughout my day, I take the time to repeat to myself special stress-reducing affirmations or mantras, or to simply remind myself: "Let it go," or "Slow it down," or something similar to help me shift from high stress to a state of calm.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Practice Slowing My Breathing, Appreciating, and Being in the Now. I am aware that rushing through my day is not only stressful but often leads to bad habits and healthcare compromises such as eating for convenience, forgoing sleep, not taking the time for exercise or stress management, or not being available for important relationships. I make a concerted effort to slow down, breathe, and appreciate the now.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Create Calm By the Way I Structure My Day. I do not over-schedule my day. I allow myself time to simply think and reflect on my life. I am able to create calm.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. There Is Balance in My Choices. I am able to carefully evaluate my commitments. I ask myself if my commitments are truly satisfying, part of a healthy balance, and consistent with taking good care of myself.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Give Myself Free Time. I purposely have unscheduled time in my day, time to reflect or spontaneously engage in family connections or fun activities. I am conscious of guarding my free time by being prepared to say “no” to requests that are not consistent with my commitment to set aside free time.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Give Myself Time to Practice Mindfulness. I set aside time to meditate or engage in contemplative prayer, helping me to stay more conscious and balanced. I am able to be a spectator, simply observing my own thoughts as they come and go. I am able to ground myself in peace and calmness.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

Enter your total score on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

Mindful Choice 5

ENGAGE IN SELF-REFLECTION AND DEAL WITH NEGATIVE SELF TALK AND DISTORTED THINKING

Self-Assessment

DIRECTIONS: Under each description, choose the number that best represents agreement with your behavior for the past week if this is your initial or monthly assessment, or for the previous 24 hours if this assessment is part of your daily self-improvement effort for a specific Choice.

Record the number that best applies on your Life Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

0= not true at all, or 0%, 1= mostly not true, or 25 %, 2= partially true, or 50%, 3= largely true, or 75% 4=totally true, or 95-100%

1. I Am Aware of the Thoughts and Feelings Connection. I am aware the unpleasant emotions I experience often stem from views I have of the situation and beliefs learned in my childhood and from earlier life experiences.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Am Mindfully Aware of My “Stories.” During my day, there are instances where I am able to slow down my thinking and become more aware, or more "mindful," of my thoughts, accepting those thoughts as only "stories" my mind is telling me, and not necessarily useful, valid, or the stuff of objective reality.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Am Combining Self-Calming Skills with Mindfulness. During my day I regularly pay attention to everything going on inside myself (thoughts, feelings, breathing patterns, and bodily sensations), as well as outside. This is done in conjunction with self-calming through diaphragmatic breathing and purposefully relaxing tensed muscles.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. Distressing Situations Provide Me with Constructive Learning Experiences. I am able to revisit distressing situations, understanding those situations and my reactions to them through an understanding of the role of my self-talk and beliefs. (Note: circle 4 if there are no "distressing situations."

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Engage in Constructive Inner Dialogue. When feeling stressed or anxious, I check in with myself by taking several diaphragmatic breaths while engaging in an internal dialogue. The following are examples of possible questions I might ask myself.

• What am I telling myself about my coping ability? What do I perceive to be a threat?
• What am I feeling? What are my emotions?
• What's going on in my body? What is my physical experience?
• What am I telling myself that is not accepting or compassionate?
• Are there things I can't control? Are there things I can control?
• Could I be more accepting and compassionate toward myself? What would I be telling myself if I were more compassionate?
• Do I have needs that are not being met? Do I have boundaries that are not being observed, or asserted?
• Am I being realistic? Am I engaging in "what if thinking," or "awfulizing" or “catastrophizing?"
• What are my choices? What options am I aware of when I view my situation from a position of calmness and self -acceptance?

(Note: circle 4 if there are no instances of feeling "stressed or anxious.")

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Actively Demonstrate My Self-Worth. In thought and behavior, I demonstrate my belief that I am worthy of love and respect.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Am Eliminating Negative Self-Judgment. I don’t tell myself that I am flawed, defective, unlovable, or basically incompetent.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Am Eliminating Self-Blame. I don’t dwell on what I perceive to be failures or mistakes, believing instead that mistakes help me learn and I am able to forgive myself for mistakes or failures.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Am Willing To Take Risks. I am willing to take risks, not needing to avoid new challenges for fear I won’t measure up. I believe I’m competent and at least as capable as the average person.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Engage in Realistic Threat Appraisal. I am able to ask myself what the worst thing is that could realistically happen, and quickly determine that if and when that circumstance took place, I will be able to handle it. I do not hold back because of fear, self-doubt, or expectations of failure or defeat.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

Enter your total score on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

Life Choice 6

CONNECT WITH AND LIVE YOUR DEEPEST VALUES

Self-Assessment

DIRECTIONS: Under each description, choose the number that best represents agreement with your behavior for the past week if this is your initial or monthly assessment, or for the previous 24 hours if this assessment is part of your daily self-improvement effort for a specific Choice.

Record the number that best applies on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

0= not true at all, or 0%, 1= mostly not true, or 25 %, 2= partially true, or 50%, 3= largely true, or 75% 4=totally true, or 95-100%

1. I Find Opportunities to Live My Values. Throughout my day, I am aware of the ever- present opportunity to move in a valued direction. For example, if one of my values is excellent parenting, I am aware of choices I could make today to be a loving parent. If I value making a difference, I was aware of numerous opportunities to make meaningful choices. If I value serenity, I was able to actually live the Serenity Prayer. If I value a clean, well-organized environment contributing to my sense of peacefulness and well-being, I am able to invest my time and energy toward making it happen.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Experience Living My Values. Throughout my day, I was aware of those times when I was living my values, not just intellectually but through fully experiencing "walking the talk," by having a heightened sense of energy and aliveness.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Freely Choose My Values. Throughout my day, I was able to distinguish between automatically acting based upon a learned script (e.g. a stereotyped story my mind was telling me), habitual self-talk or long held beliefs, and values-based actions freely chosen after careful reflection.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. My Behavior Is Values Driven. Throughout my day, the direction I travel and the actions I take have more to do with what I want my life to stand for him rather than what I want less of or

want to avoid. My behavior is based more on what I am for (values driven) than what I am against (fear and anxiety).

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Am Able to Use My Awareness of Vulnerability As a Guide. I am aware that fear and anxiety can get in the way of honoring present values, and avoidance of unwelcome pain can lead to much greater difficulties through my life not being fully lived. Throughout my day, I am able to move in a valued direction despite increased vulnerability, fear, or anxiety. I am able to use my awareness of vulnerability as a guide. I am able to "feel the fear and do it anyway."

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Have an Awareness of “Full” Values. To be considered a “full” value, something must be chosen freely, chosen from among alternatives, chosen after due reflection, prized and cherished, publicly affirmed, repeatedly acted upon, and consistent with other values. I am aware of a number of things in my life that meet these criteria.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. My Choices and Actions Are Based on My Values. I’m able to use awareness of my values to make satisfactory choices and take appropriate values-consistent action.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Find Strength through My Values. I’m aware that my values give me the courage to say what has to be said and take the actions that need to be taken.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. My Priorities Determined by My Values. When I have to make decisions between competing choices, or need to establish priorities, I am guided by knowing what I freely choose based upon personal preferences and values.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Find Meaning and Balance, and Self-Acceptance Through My Values. Knowing about my values, knowing what I freely choose, cherish, affirm, and act upon, gives my life meaning and helps me know and appreciate who I am.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

Enter your total score on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

Mindful Choice 7

INTENTIONAL RELATING

Self-Assessment

DIRECTIONS: Under each description, choose the number that best represents agreement with your behavior for the past week if this is your initial or monthly assessment, or for the previous 24 hours if this particular assessment is part of your daily self-improvement effort. Record the number that best applies on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

0= not true at all, or 0%, 1= mostly not true, or 25 %, 2= partially true, or 50%, 3= largely true, or 75% 4=totally true, or 95-100%

Note: while the language of this self-assessment is suited to answering in regard to a particular relationship, you may choose to answer with the mindset of how you respond in general to others.

1. I Listen Attentively, Not Reactively. In my interactions with my partner, I listen attentively and I am conscious of equality and symmetry of air time. We each get to talk and be listened to with no one dominating the conversation or monopolizing the time we have for discussion. My intention is to understand my partner, help them feel listened to and understood, and engage with them in such a manner that the relationship is strengthened, and cooperation and productivity is enhanced.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Respond with Immediacy and Assertiveness. I talk to my partner about what I perceive is going on with us in the "here and now," in the moment. I do not "gunny sack," avoiding issues by stuffing and stacking my thoughts, feelings, and resentments until they can no longer be contained. I show respect for my partner by letting them know where I am coming from. I say what I mean. I don’t agree or say "yes" if I feel differently or mean "no."

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Am Non-defensive and Willing to Learn. Throughout my day, I am conscious of needing to operate beyond my ego, without the need to be defensive. I don’t have to appear perfect or conceal my mistakes. I am open to constructive feedback even if it means hearing complaints. I am willing to discuss my shortcomings as well as my strengths, accepting an open, willing-to- learn attitude as essential for my personal growth.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Effectively Use Self-Awareness. I am conscious of my physiological state, such as my breathing and muscle tension while talking to my partner. I am able to observe my own self-talk in regard to relationships. I am able to use this self-awareness effectively in self-management, responding calmly, non-defensively, and with the intention of balancing assertiveness with interest in what my partner wants to tell me. In my self-aware interactions I am open, willing to learn, and I pursue understanding rather than agreement.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Am Open, Self-Revealing, and Willing to Take Risks. I am willing to take risks in my relationship by sharing my true needs and feelings, even though I may feel awkward, embarrassed, or vulnerable. I am willing to trust in my relationship and my belief that honesty and openness is indispensable in relationship building.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Practice Mindfulness and Staying in the Now. I am conscious and intentional in utilizing mindfulness practice as a pathway to increasing intimacy, dialogue, and understanding. In my interactions with my partner, I remain mindfully conscious of the need to live fully in the present, letting go of past resentments, while working to keep fearfulness of future events from interfering with my ability to remain calm, respectful, and willing to connect.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Respond Actively and Constructively. When my partner wants to tell me something, I respond with enthusiasm. I am actively engaged in a positive way. I ask interested questions and try to keep a positive conversation going. I maintain eye contact and a pleasant demeanor. I listen for positives in the conversation and reinforce those positives with positive responses of my own. This way of responding is in marked contrast to responding with negativity or defensiveness, responding minimally, or responding with disinterest, diversion, or avoidance.

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1. I Manage My Emotions, Listening Attentively and Not Reactively, Describing My Feelings Rather Than Attacking with Them. Throughout my day, I am conscious of needing to stay centered and grounded, able to use my emotions effectively for building my relationship, rather than allowing myself to be overly influenced by strong feelings. Even when emotions were experienced powerfully within my body, I am able to find a calm space within and manage my emotions rather than having my emotions manage me.

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1. I’m Guided by My Belief That Our Relationship Is a Priority. I remain aware of my valuing of our relationship. I remember to express small acts of connection and caring. I show up mindful and aware in our interactions as the person I truly want to be within the relationship. No matter what was happening, I do not lose track of the positive feelings I have about my partner and the relationship.

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1. I Am Aware of Choices and Consistently Make the Right Choices. I am aware of the choices I have in relating to my partner. I can choose to turn toward, away or against my partner. I can choose to be adversarial, withdrawn, or empathic. I can choose to soften or harden. I can choose to listen attentively or reactively. I can choose to be open and willing to learn, or closed and defensive. I can choose to focus on protecting myself, or I can choose to engage in relationship building. I can choose to see conflict as dangerous, or as an opportunity to build my relationship. I’m aware of choices — and I can make the right choices! My present-moment awareness of the positive choices I can make, along with consistently practicing those choices, is resulting in increasingly choosing well.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

Add your scores, divide by two and enter your total score on your Mindful Choices Self- Assessment Profile Sheet

Mindful Choice 8

Mindful Movement and Body Awareness

Self-Assessment

DIRECTIONS: Under each description, choose the number that best represents agreement with your behavior for the past week if this is your initial or monthly assessment, or for the previous 24 hours if this specific assessment is part of your daily self-improvement effort. Record the number that best applies on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

0= not true at all, or 0%, 1= mostly not true, or 25 %, 2= partially true, or 50%, 3= largely true, or 75% 4=totally true, or 95-100%

1. I Choose to Be Physically Active. Frequently during my day I seek out opportunities to be more active. For example, opportunities might include choosing to walk to my destination rather than drive, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, parking further from the store entrance, or foregoing an hour of inactivity in the evening choosing instead to walk the dog, take a walk with a family member, or play a round of basketball or tennis with a friend.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Get in Some Aerobic Activity. I perform at least 30 min. of continuous aerobic exercise. Examples of aerobic exercise include rhythmic and repetitive activities such as walking, jogging, cycling, swimming, etc. The activity is non-stop and of sufficient intensity to increase my heart rate, respiration, and perspiration.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Dedicate Specific Times for Physical Activity. I honor a commitment to myself to set aside time for exercise, recreational or competitive sports, or a physical workout involving aerobic activity, flexibility or strength training. I see this investment in fitness as a way of giving to myself that is not open to compromise. I don’t allow others to interfere with this personal time. I believe I am worth the investment and do not feel selfish or guilty for taking this time for myself.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Include Flexibility Training and strength training. I include stretching exercises and strength training in my fitness routine, and I consider both to be a key parts of my fitness program.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Engage in Mindful Movement. I engage in activity that is non-competitive and stress- relieving, such as taking a leisurely walk, or practicing "walking meditation." I spend time

combining gentle movement with peaceful thoughts and self-calming inner dialogue. I take stress breaks that involve movement that is not part of my exercise routine, movement that has a meditative quality during which my thoughts are directed toward staying peaceful, positive, and optimistic.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. Physical Activity Is a Benefit to My Head. I view being active as essential not only to my physical well-being, but also in combating depression and anxiety, and providing me with a sense of well-being and resilience.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. An Active Lifestyle Is One of My Strongest Values. I consider having an active lifestyle to be one of my most important values.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. Being physically active is Satisfying and Rewarding. I experience a solid sense of pride and self-satisfaction by being more active during my day.

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1. I Am Noticing Measurable Benefits of Being Physically Active. I’m noticing positive physical responses and changes, and I enjoy the way my body is responding to increased activity.

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1. I Appreciate the Improvements in the Way My Body Functions with Regular Physical Activity. I am aware of how the way I see my body influences the way I feel about my core self. I choose to look at my body with appreciation focusing on what is “right” about it, including an appreciation that parts of my body function as designed. I welcome the opportunity to improve bodily functioning through physical activity and exercise.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

Enter your total score on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

Mindful Choice 9

DEVELOP AND UTILIZE YOUR LIFE CHOICES TOOLKIT

Self-Assessment

DIRECTIONS: Under each description, choose the number that best represents agreement with your behavior for the past week if this is your initial or monthly assessment, or for the previous 24 hours if this specific assessment is part of your daily self-improvement effort. Record the number that best applies on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

0= not true at all, or 0%, 1= mostly not true, or 25 %, 2= partially true, or 50%, 3= largely true, or 75% 4=totally true, or 95-100%

1. I’m Retraining My Breath through Diaphragmatic Breathing. I regularly engage in diaphragmatic breathing, or "belly breathing," perhaps the easiest method of relaxation. While in my normal state of consciousness, the average number of breaths is 12 to 16 breaths per minute. While breathing diaphragmatically, in a relaxed state, my normal rate of breathing is substantially reduced. My diaphragmatic breathing requires only a comfortable position, focused concentration, and the intention to make my breath as easy, effortless, gentle, and quiet as possible. My breathing is not pressured or forced.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Practice Meditation. Recognizing that every relaxation technique involves an aspect of meditation, I practice some form of meditation, most simply stated as focused concentration and increased awareness of my being.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Cultivate Inner Calm through Meditation in Motion. I cultivate inner calmness through incorporating techniques from yoga, Qigong , or tai chi in my daily stress management routine. Such techniques utilize the art of breathing, the art of conscious stretching, and the art of balance in increasing flexibility, improving muscle tone, improving self-esteem, and reducing stress and frustration.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I’m Using My Imagination to Promote Inner Calm. I practice mental imagery or visualization as part of my stress reduction regimen. For example, I am able to focus on a peaceful natural scene, imagining myself in a natural environment, visualizing making effective behavioral changes, or imagining myself engaging in health-conscious behaviors. Most

importantly, while practicing diaphragmatic breathing I am able to shift my thinking to satisfying peaceful images, perhaps accompanied by calm inner dialogue.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Draw from a Variety of Stress Reduction Tools. I utilize one or more of the following coping strategies or stress reduction practices:

• Listening to or creating music for asoothing effect.
• Massage, involving someone else to produce a full relaxation effect.
• Creating a relaxation response through progressive muscle relaxation, reducing muscle tension by systematically tensing and relaxing the body's musculature, from the feet to thehead.
• Autogenic training involving focused attention on peripheral parts of the body with the suggestion that those areas are becoming "warm andheavy."
• Biofeedback
• Physical exercise
• Sports
• Dance
• Journaling
• Art
• Humor
• Friends and social support groups
• Hobbies
• Faith and prayer
• Nature
• Any other activity or pastime found to be Breath awareness and breath retraining
• Friends and social support groups
• Nature
• Meditation
• Yoga
• Tai Chi
• Qigong
• Biofeedback
• Faith and prayer
• Physical fitness
• Movement that is not goal oriented, competitive, or with a focus on performance.
• A hobby or pastime that is calming and produces a sense of harmony or “flow”
• any other activity or pastime found to be effective for coping or stress management. Practices that involve centering, self calming, finding balance, and achieving mindfulness

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Punctuate My Day with Mini-Relaxations. I take advantage of opportunities throughout my day to do “mini relaxations,” taking a moment here and there to take three deep breaths, calm and center myself, and achieve greater clarity in the moment.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Check in with Mind-Body Scans. I regularly conduct a “mind-body scan,” checking in with myself and observing bodily sensations, breathing, and thoughts.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Utilize Focused Tension Reduction. I am aware of tension anywhere in my body, and I take the time to specifically attend to and relax tense areas.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Have a Mindful Awareness of My Anxiety or Stress. I am frequently aware of my anxiety or stress level, assigning a number of 1 – 10 with 10 equaling the highest level I have known and 1 equaling the lowest level I have known. I’m able to accurately label my discomfort as “anxiety” or “stress.”

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. Stress Management is a Top Priority. Throughout my day I am aware of my overall stress level and accept stress management as a top priority, recognizing the damaging effects of stress to all aspects of my life, both short-term and long-term.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

Enter your total score on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

Mindful Choice 10

SELF-ACCEPTANCE AND SELF- COMPASSION

Self-Assessment

DIRECTIONS: Under each description, choose the number that best represents agreement with your behavior for the past week if this is your initial or monthly assessment, or for the previous 24 hours if this assessment is part of your daily self-improvement effort for a specific choice.

Record the number that best applies on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

0= not true at all, or 0%, 1= mostly not true, or 25 %, 2= partially true, or 50%, 3= largely true, or 75% 4=totally true, or 95-100%

1. I Have a Nonjudgmental Attitude toward Myself. I have a nonjudgmental attitude toward myself, fully accepting that I am a fallible human being, and able to accept myself anyway. I choose not to dwell on my shortcomings. I am mindful of when I am being harsh and judgmental with myself, or kind and gentle with myself, and I choose to be kind.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Ignore My Inner Critic. I am aware of my inner critic and choose to adopt the tactic of practicing self-calming skills as I observe and accept my self-talk without "fusing," or buying into my negative thoughts. I accept my negative self-talk as merely thoughts that I’ve learned

,and not necessarily valid. I can simply notice my thoughts without having to do anything with them, accepting my thoughts as only thoughts. I don’t have to let my inner critic block me from living a valued life.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Appreciate My Positive Qualities. I pay little attention to my negative qualities and instead choose to focus on positive aspects of myself. There is far more right with me than wrong with me and I appreciate and build upon what’s good.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Believe in My Ability to Make Positive Changes. I think about changes I desire as things I am fully able to do, and believe I can successfully accomplish. I’m not letting self-doubt or fear, or over-concern of what others want, hold me back from choosing the life I want.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Choose Unconditional Self-Acceptance Rather Than Conditional Self-Acceptance. I evaluate my thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and CHOICES as “good” or “bad” depending upon whether they support my basic goals or are consistent with my values and how I want to view myself – but I Do Not go further to a global evaluation of myself as “good” or “bad.”

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Choose to Be Kind to Myself Regardless of External Events. My sense of self-worth is not dependent on my latest setback or success. No matter what is happening, I Maintain a sense of kindness to self, or self-compassion. I am consistently kind to myself.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I See Myself as a Work in Progress. I refuse to label myself as "good" or "bad," choosing instead to accept myself as a "work in progress” with the ability to take mistakes in stride and accept all shortcomings as simply part of the human condition and life lessons to be learned. I can tell myself: “Yes, I have made mistakes, but now I know better. My ordinary self is acceptable, and I’m growing and changing in the direction of my values.”

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Treat Myself As Well as I Treat Those I Care About and Respect the Most. I give myself the same caring, support, and encouragement that I would give to a close friend or loved one.

Sel Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. My Inner Dialogue is Caring and Kind. My inner dialogue is consistently caring and kind when my thoughts are directed toward myself, my life, my abilities, or my worth as a person.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

1. I Practice Mindful Awareness and Defusing Negative Thinking. I practice mindful awareness, recognizing when I am being harsh, judgmental, or overly critical toward myself. I recognize when I am comparing myself unfavorably to others, and feeling inadequate in comparison. I remind myself that these are only thoughts, and not necessarily accurate or deserving of my uncritical acceptance. I can see a thought as only a thought, something my mind is telling me, something I have learned that may not be correct, and something that I can defuse and ignore.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet

Enter your total score on your Mindful Choices Self-Assessment Scoring Sheet.

PART III

Action Planning Guides