Chapter 7

MINDFUL CHOICE 3

Mindful Eating; Balance Mind and Body and Connect with Your Life

Let food be thy medicine, thy medicine shall be thy food.

Hippocrates

Better to eat a dry crust of bread with peace of mind than have a banquet in a house full of trouble

Proverbs

Mindful Eating; A Metaphor for Mindful Living

This Mindful Choice is about your relationship to food, and more importantly, your relationship to your life. If you speed mindlessly through your meals, there is a good chance you’re speeding mindlessly through your life. If your eating is more about cravings and habits rather than real hunger awareness and conscious choices, we’re betting that large areas of your life are lived on autopilot.

Why bother eating mindfully? Apart from the need to avoid overeating and unwanted weight gain, the practice of mindful eating constitutes a powerful arena for practicing stress-relieving and healthful mindfulness skills.

It turns out that practicing slowing down with awareness is a keystone habit that has far-reaching

influence over other areas of life. Since we all eat, with most of us eating mindlessly, we have a perfect opportunity to regularly practice living in the NOW. Also, since eating is the most basic voluntary human activity, choosing to appreciate and savor your food seems to be a natural way to practice slowing down to savor and appreciate your life.

Think about it. How fast do you eat? How aware are you of your eating? Virtually all of us eat mindlessly some of the time. Some of us are mindless eaters virtually all of the time. How about you?

If you’re like most people, you’ve loaded your fork for the next bite before you finished chewing and swallowing the previous bite. Again the metaphor – are you living life one bite ahead?

You may not think it’s important, and you may not think the way you eat has much to do with the quality of your life. You may be wrong.

Jack’s career is in high gear. Only in his early 30s, he’s seen as a rising star in his company. His long hours and time spent working on weekends is paying off. Of course that leaves little time for the wife and kids, but after all, he’s doing it for them. Jack’s wife doesn’t seem appreciative and often complains. Why can’t she understand? I can cut back when I’ve made that next promotion. However, the next promotion comes, and Jack is already eyeing his next big career move. Self- care takes a backseat. Always in a hurry, Jack’s nutrition depends upon what’s available in a fast food drive-through, or in the office vending machines. There is simply no time for a leisurely meal. Jack is in basically good health, and certainly looks good in his business attire, so what’s the big deal? I’ve got to keep moving if I’m going to get ahead. As Jack puts it: “with my schedule, I just have to fit food in wherever I can. I snack at my desk. I don’t eat real meals. It’s whatever I can manage that doesn’t slow me down.”

We live in a high stress society. Supposedly, we have less free time than ever before and often taking time to enjoy a meal is seen as a low priority.

Anxious or stressed out people often eat hurriedly, engage in emotional eating, and eat with very little pleasure or satisfaction, thereby missing several great opportunities. First, they're missing the opportunity to enjoy one of the great pleasures of life. Secondly, they're missing the opportunity to slow down, relax, and recharge their batteries. Thirdly, eating in a calm, mindful way usually means making better food choices, taking more responsibility for your physical well-being, and enjoying the physical and emotional benefits that come with making healthy choices.

Often, the way we eat is symptomatic of deeper issues. Focusing on food and weight may simply be a distraction or way of avoiding larger life issues. Sometimes food and weight issues constitute a smokescreen, providing the illusion of control, thus avoiding areas of life that seem uncontrollable.

Jane has very little satisfaction in life, and her distress is centered around food and weight issues. She feels consumed by volcanic struggling to manage her weight. Increasingly she withdraws from others, fearing disappointment and rejection — and shame. In Jane’s mind people are critical of her weight and she’s quick to perceive negative judgment. Moreover, one rejection, real or imagined, means nobody will ever want to be with her. It’s all or nothing, and Jane bounces from one extreme to another. She heroically renews her dieting efforts each

George has struggled with his weight for years. He has tried every diet known to man--and woman. He has never really understood the relationship of dieting to obesity, and so he continues to search for a new diet, the one that will end his food and weight problems forever. All of this restriction however, leaves him obsessed with food, feeling more out of shape, and extremely depressed over his perception of a bleak future. He weighs himself constantly. Each small deviation, each pound gained is certain proof to George that his weight will never be under control, and that he is destined to get larger and larger. Any departure from his food plan surely means a scale-busting weight gain. The anxiety and depression of it all leads him to vacillate between renewed efforts at dieting and abandonment to binge eating, all the while feeling quite hopeless.

Mindful Eating is much more than just slowing down. It’s about cultivating a food awareness that supports balanced nutrition and genuine food satisfaction. Mindful Eating helps you eliminate mindless eating habits, and make food choices related to your body’s needs. It’s about awareness of emotional hunger and knowing when it’s your stomach that’s hungry rather than your head. It’s about ending, once and for all, your struggles with food. It’s about connecting with your life with a sane and healthy life tempo.

Most importantly, mindful eating is central to how you are doing at living your life in a calm and peaceful way. There is no effective stress management, and little self-compassion without taking the time to slow down and eat mindfully.

MINDFUL EATING PRE-TEST

DIRECTIONS: Under each description, choose the number that best represents agreement with your thinking, beliefs, or behavior for the past week and record that number on the following table.

Mndful	a	b	c	d	e	Total Divided
Eating	f	g	h	i	j	by 2= ______

0= not true at all, 1= mostly not true, 2= partially true, 3= largely true, 4=totally true

a. I Give Myself Time for Mindful Eating. I allow sufficient time for regular, unhurried meals, excluding time spent shopping or in meal preparation. I give myself plenty of time to sit down and eat mindfully.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record your score for Mindful Eating on the table above.

b. I am Able to Eat without Distraction. I take full advantage of the opportunity to utilize mealtime as a break from my usual responsibilities. This means that I do not "multitask" during my meal. I give full attention to the process of eating with enjoyment and gratitude, and with no distractions. I refrain from focusing on any unfinished tasks. I do not engage in problem solving. I’m not eating and watching TV, watching sports or a movie on my electronic device, playing computer games, checking my emails, surfing the web, or doing anything else. When I’m eating, I’m eating. Period! Here is the exception – if I am eating with friends or family, I engage with them but I still take the time to slow down, be fully present with my food, noticing what I am eating and how I am eating.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record your score for Mindful Eating on the table above.

c. I Eat Relaxed. I slow down my eating, taking a relaxed, meditative approach to my meal. I am conscious of my breathing, muscle tension, and stress level, and I do not attempt to eat while experiencing high stress or worry. I first take the time to "move my center" from my upper torso to my lower torso and abdomen, engaging in diaphragmatic breathing and relaxing tense muscles. I simultaneously soften and redirect my self-talk to a focus on a peaceful and enjoyable meal.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record your score for Mindful Eating on the table above.

d. I Not Only Eat Slowly, I Also Savor My Food. I focus on enjoying my meal by slowing down my eating and being conscious of every bite. I fully experience various tastes and try to have an awareness of my food that allows me to "savor" what I am eating.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record your score for Mindful Eating on the table above.

e. I Eat with Gratitude and Appreciation. I experience gratitude and appreciation for my food, feeling privileged to have an opportunity to give to myself, and conscious of the complex pathway from initial food production to the food being available to me. I am appreciative of whoever has prepared the food for me. I am conscious of the full benefit of the food to my health and well-being. I appreciate high-quality food.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record your score for Mindful Eating on the table above.

f. Eating As a Metaphor. I view the way I approach food as a metaphor for how I approach my life, recognizing that if I multitask while eating, skip meals, eat junk food, or eat rapidly, I’m probably dealing with my life much the same way. At the same time I am changing my eating patterns, I am becoming more self-accepting, having a more peaceful and appreciative relationship not only with food, but with myself as well

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record your score for Mindful Eating on the table above.

g. I Have an Awareness of Real Hunger. I am fully aware of why I am eating, able to tell if I am actually hungry or simply triggered by environmental cues or emotional needs. I am able to ask myself if it’s my stomach or my head that is hungry, slowing down, relaxing, and getting clear on whether or not I am actually hungry and what it is I really want to eat.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record your score for Mindful Eating on the table above.

h. My Food Choices Are Based on Actual Need and Valuing of Good Nutrition. I choose meals and snacks based not upon cravings, habit or emotion, but instead based upon awareness of real hunger and the need to nourish myself in healthy and fulfilling ways.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record your score for Mindful Eating on the table above.

i. I Invest Time in Learning About Food and Meal Planning. I take the time to plan for meals and good nutrition. I am interested in learning more about eating healthily, and make it a high priority. I’m making healthy eating and mindful eating an essential part of my lifestyle, and a practice solidly connected to my values.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record your score for Mindful Eating on the table above.

j. I’m Slowing the Pace of Life as I Slow the Pace of My Eating. I am able to slow the pace of my life along with the pace of my eating, being fully aware when things in my life have caused me to speed up to such a degree it is hard to notice what I’m eating. As I consciously alter my pace and engage in slow, conscious, and deliberate “mindful eating,” I’m also committed to slowing the pace of my life.

Select 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 and record your score for Mindful Eating on the table above.

The following is an example of the table squares a-J filled in with 10 scores, each square representing the 0-4 score on that particular statement. The scores are then totaled in the last square, for a total of 21 that is then divided by 2 for a final score of 10.5

Mindful	a 2	b 1	c 2	d 1	e 2	Total/2
Eating	f 1	g 2	h 3	i 4	j 3	21/2=10/5

The score of 10.5 is then located on the grid below, falling on the dividing line between 12 and

13. This means that for the past week Mindful Eating performance was in the “good” category.

Overall, this means that the person taking this pretest was doing well with being conscious and intentional in mindful eating. However, there is still substantial room for improvement. In fact, even with a perfect score there is no limit to how masterful you can become in mindful eating.

Okay, now it’s time to enter your score on the grid below.

How did you do? The possibilities for growth and mastery are limitless. How good do you want to be in your Mindful Eating?

Let’s first take a deeper look at the rationale behind the 10 statements in our pretest,

The thoughts behind the Life Choice 3 assessment statements

Each of the ten statements can be thought of as an affirmation, or as a desired state you want to achieve. Rating a statement with a “4” on your Choice 3 self-assessment is an indication you are at an optimal level of functioning for a vital component of Mindful Eating. The statements are repeated here with a brief explanation of the thinking that went into the construction of each statement.

0= not true at all, 1= mostly not true, 2= partially true, 3= largely true, 4=totally true

a. I Give Myself Time for Mindful Eating. I allow sufficient time for regular, unhurried meals, excluding time spent shopping or in meal preparation. I give myself plenty of time to sit down and eat mindfully.

Do you see taking time for meals as self-indulgent and a waste of time, or vital to your stress management and well-being? Perhaps you don’t give it much thought one way or the other, so here’s your chance. Do you take sufficient time for meals? Are you willing to make scheduling sufficient time for meals a priority? Of course, your meals aren’t going to be peaceful if they are rushed. Yet, it seems to be part of our fast food culture to spend little time eating. There are probably millions of Americans who regularly eat their meals within 5 to 10 minutes. If this applies to you, you’re missing a major opportunity for getting a handle on your high stress lifestyle. In fact, effectively managing your stress is probably not possible with mealtime compressed into the bare minimum amount of time required to move the food past your teeth. It’s a matter of priorities.

b. I am Able to Eat without Distraction. I take full advantage of the opportunity to utilize mealtime as a break from my usual responsibilities. This means that I do not "multitask" during my meal. I give full attention to the process of eating with enjoyment and gratitude, and with no distractions. I refrain from focusing on any unfinished tasks. I do not engage in problem solving. I’m not eating and watching TV, watching sports or a movie on my electronic device, playing computer games, checking my emails, surfing the web, or doing anything else. When I’m eating, I’m eating. Period! Here is the exception – if I am eating with friends or family, I engage fully them but I still take the time to slow down, be fully present with my food, noticing what I am eating and how I am eating.

A working lunch may not be much of a lunch, at least in terms of genuine enjoyment. Although many people pride themselves on their ability to multitask, it generally means all tasks are handled less effectively. Something has to be sacrificed. If you’re eating and working at the same time, the chances are that food enjoyment and satisfaction is surrendered in the name of getting a little more done. If your stress level is already high, working through your meal insures that it stays high. You will have missed an opportunity to decompress, lower your stress, manage your anxiety, and make an important contribution to your overall health and well-being. If you’re eating with friends or family, you can slow down, tune into the conversation, and help your friends and family feel truly listened to and cared about. You can still eat mindfully, actually putting down your fork between bites and remembering to actually taste your food.

c. I Eat Relaxed. I slow down my eating, taking a relaxed, meditative approach to my meal. I am conscious of my breathing, muscle tension, and stress level, and I do not attempt to eat while experiencing high stress or worry. I first take the time to "move my center" from my upper torso to my lower torso and abdomen, engaging in diaphragmatic breathing and relaxing tense muscles. I simultaneously soften and redirect my self-talk to a focus on a peaceful and enjoyable meal.

Nutritionist Marc David in his book: “The Slow down Diet; Eating for Pleasure, Energy, and Weight Loss,” states: “The dizzying pace at which our culture propels itself is contrary to a happy and healthy life. We suffer from an avalanche of bodily ills and ailments of the soul that can be traced back to one simple cause: pace.” Certainly, the pace of our eating is a reflection of the stress and anxiety in our lives. Many of the people we work with are binge eaters, or emotional eaters. Long ago we noticed that almost without exception they eat rapidly, hardly tasting their food, and often anticipating their next meal before this one is finished. As a group, rapid eaters tend often to be tense and able to slow down only with great difficulty.

Think of mealtime as a great opportunity. Your pace of eating is a reflection of the pace of your life. Practice slowing down. Practice being in touch with breathing and muscle tension.

Practice shifting gears and making meals peaceful and enjoyable. You might find this to be quite difficult, but you also will find it’s a great way of demonstrating to yourself a powerful and effective way to master stress and anxiety.

Combining mindful eating with Breathwork is tremendously beneficial. Again from nutritionist Marc David: “Breathing during meals is a great way to help you become a slow, relaxed theater. If you’re eating while distracted by work task or involve intense conversations, or if you’re a habitually fast eater, your breathing will be more shallow. By reminding yourself to breathe more deeply during meals, you’ll naturally slow down, become more present, and metabolized with greater power.”

d. I Not Only Eat Slowly, I Also Savor My Food. I focus on enjoying my meal by slowing down my eating and being conscious of every bite. I fully experience various tastes and try to have an awareness of my food that allows me to "savor" what I am eating.

What does “savor” mean? Occasionally, in our therapy groups, we will do a mindfulness exercise involving eating one or two raisins. The trick is to eat the raisins over a 15 minute period, noticing every subtle variation in texture, color, and taste. Of course, we’re not

suggesting that you eat your meals that slowly; the raisin exercise is merely an exercise in mindful awareness. It does make the point however, that we can eat much more slowly and with much greater awareness. What would it be like to slow down eating to the point where you are totally aware of the food you’re eating and experiencing maximum enjoyment? In such a process you would have to be quite relaxed. Consequently, there would be a huge additional benefit. You would be managing your stress very effectively.

Beyond stress management, slowing down and savoring your food results in less desire for low-quality foods and more enjoyment and satisfaction in giving yourself high-quality foods. Imagine! You could be eating healthier while actually enjoying food more.

e. I Eat with Gratitude and Appreciation. I experience gratitude and appreciation for my food, feeling privileged to have an opportunity to give to myself, and conscious of the complex pathway from initial food production to the food being available to me. I am appreciative of whoever has prepared the food for me. I am conscious of the full benefit of the food to my health and well-being.

Another aspect of slowing down is that you are able to feel deep appreciation for having such a wide variety of high-quality foods so readily available. Certainly that’s not the case for much of the world. Are you able to visualize all the steps involved in delivering the food to your plate? Are you aware of the complex array of nutrients entering your body, allowing your body to heal and regenerate? Again, entering into such a contemplative state means also that your stress is under control. Eating in this manner is a form of meditation.

It’s worth noting at this point that when we say “food production” we are not talking about “factory” food that is highly processed, but rather the production of healthy food, primarily fresh fruit and vegetables as grown.

f. Eating As a Metaphor. I view the way I approach food as a metaphor for how I approach my life, recognizing that if I multitask while eating, skip meals, eat junk food, or eat rapidly, I’m probably dealing with my life much the same way. At the same time I am changing my eating patterns, I am becoming more self-accepting, having a more peaceful and appreciative relationship not only with food, but with myself as well

Eating mindfully is accompanied by greater mindful awareness overall. Being in such a state also makes it possible to let go of self-judgment and achieve a greater level of self-acceptance and self-compassion. It’s a powerful way of cultivating greater peace in your life, and a deep sense that all is okay with you. Eat as though you matter and you’ll start believing it!

g. I Have an Awareness of Real Hunger. I am fully aware of why I am eating, able to tell if I am actually hungry or simply triggered by environmental cues or emotional needs. I am able to ask myself if it’s my stomach or my head that is hungry, slowing down, relaxing, and getting clear on whether or not I am actually hungry and what it is I really want to eat.

The opposite of mindful eating is mindless eating, characterized by a lack of awareness of the pace of eating, choices being made, or how much is being consumed. We’re quite sure that more people eat this way than eat mindfully, and this is possibly a factor in the dramatic increase in the number of people who are overweight or obese. When you’re eating mindfully, you’re aware

of internal cues of satiety or fullness. You are also aware of what you really want to eat. Being mindful means you’re more likely to choose high-quality food rather than convenience food. You’re also more likely to eat because of internal hunger sensations, rather than responding to the clock on the wall, the food commercial on the TV, or what’s going on with your friends and family

h. My Food Choices Are Based on Actual Need and Valuing of Good Nutrition. I choose meals and snacks based not upon cravings, habit or emotion, but instead based upon awareness of real hunger and the need to nourish myself in healthy and fulfilling ways.

Mindful eating brings clear awareness of your degree of hunger, and your degree of fullness. Mindful eating means responding to your body’s need for fuel, taking on more fuel when your

fuel tank is less than a quarter fall. Mindful eating is about the awareness of what you need physiologically rather than autopilot eating that has more to do with emotions and habits.

With mindful awareness, you’re able to sort things out. Is your urge to eat coming from your head or your stomach. If it’s your stomach, go ahead and eat, and enjoy it. If it’s your head, realize it’s not food you need, but something else. Mindful awareness helps you figure out what that “something else” is.

i. I Invest Time in Learning About Food and Meal Planning. I take the time to plan for meals and good nutrition. I am interested in learning more about eating healthily, and make it a high priority. I’m making healthy eating and mindful eating an essential part of my lifestyle, and a practice solidly connected to my values.

Have you ever heard the expression “You are what you eat?” Food choice matters. Think of food as not only a collection of vitamins, minerals, macronutrients, and micronutrients, but as the very basis for your physical well-being. Would you buy a top-of-the-line Mercedes and then throw away the owner’s manual and skip all maintenance? Of course not. Why then should you be disinterested in what and how you eat?

Bill is an adjunct nutrition professor for a Southern California University. He frequently refers to nutritionist Marc David in emphasizing “empowered eating,” beginning with “quality shopping.” Marc David urges his readers to take charge of their own nutrition, learn about how food affects their bodies, and let quality be their guide. According to the author: “Elevating food quality is the most practical and foolproof nutritional improvement you can make.” He also states: “Higher-quality food means greater nutritional value. When we continually eat low quality food, the brain will register a nutrient deficit and signal us to eat more. Many people who think they have a willpower problem are experiencing a lack of nutrient-dense food.”

j. I’m Slowing the Pace of Life as I Slow the Pace of My Eating. I am able to slow the pace of my life along with the pace of my eating, being fully aware when things in my life have caused me to speed up to such a degree it is hard to notice what I’m eating. As I consciously alter my pace and engage in slow, conscious, and deliberate “mindful eating,” I’m also committed to slowing the pace of my life.

Rapid eating can serve as a signal that something’s going on, and it usually has to do with the pace of your life. Slowing down by focusing on the food with heightened awareness takes you in

the opposite direction, and also gives you a chance to see your life’s pressures and conflicts in greater clarity. Think of mindful eating at intervals during your day as “speed bumps.” Mealtime ideally should be a time of slowing down, relaxing, and gaining or regaining a healthy perspective on what’s really, really important to you. It should be an opportunity for connecting to your life in a most positive way.

Mindful Eating Discussion

Being mindful simply means paying attention with all of your senses, calmly deferring action or judgment while you observe “what is,” not having to do anything immediately. With full awareness of internal thoughts, feelings, physical states, and everything occurring around you externally, you can then begin to purposely participate in your reality in a powerfully positive and realistic way. When mindfulness discipline is applied to eating, you're more involved in your own nutrition with greatly increased awareness and the ability to be fully conscious and intentional with food. If, like many people, your anxiety and stress lead you to eat in a compulsive way, you can discover that mindful eating opens up a heightened ability to make positive choices. You no longer have to engage in mindless emotional eating.

Practicing this discipline extends far beyond eating behavior. You can choose to manage your emotions (not stuff them), act calmly and purposefully, and in many cases perform an action opposite to your initial emotion, thought or impulse. That means breaking free from compulsive eating or the desire to restrict food intake as a way of managing or avoiding unpleasant emotional states. It also means taking control of severe anxiety states and achieving a high level of self-calming skill that heads off panicky feelings before they really get going – becoming aware of and managing anxious feelings that might lead to overeating or poor food choices.

Mindfulness means dealing with real issues in realistic ways and not numbing feelings with food or using food as a distraction. It means realistically managing conflicts and choosing to mindfully calm down, slow down, give up control, give up having to be right, give up having to win, give up having to fix anything, and instead consciously choosing to pursue understanding and collaboration, building relationships in a truly masterful and direct way. Mealtime should be a relaxing time to enjoy food, not a time to be ruminating over stressful issues in one's life, or avoiding stress and conflict through overeating.

 We incorporate mindfulness strategies in our work with eating disorders. Mindfulness-based eating awareness training utilizes meditative exercises with food, and exercises aimed at becoming more aware of needs, feelings, and choices in the present moment, suspending automatic reactions and negative self-judgments. In our Mindful Eating Program, members learn the skills to curb emotional eating. They learn to feel their hunger, trust their bodies, and become deeply satisfied with the quality, rather than quantity of food. With empowered, mindful eating Mindful Eating Program members take charge of their food and their lives in a relaxed, satisfying non-compulsive way.

The following section is for those who have eating issues such as binge eating, emotional eating, an eating disorder, or simply poor eating habits. Much of our approach has to do with recent developments in neuroscience having to do with habit formation, getting beyond older, problematic habits, and developing strong and enduring positive habits.

“HABITUALIZING”

Beverly arrived early for her 10 AM counseling appointment. Only the previous week she had decided that something had to be done. The problem had been ignored for far too long. Not only was it something that caused her unrelenting anguish and frustration, but even worse, it was visible for all to see.

It was at breakfast the previous Tuesday when she and Matt had the discussion triggering the call for an appointment. Once a rarity, and now fast becoming an enjoyable and deeply valued routine, breakfast together provided a time of intimate sharing before they each launched themselves into their busy days. On this morning Matt was talking enthusiastically about the changes he had made, and was making. He was clearly happier these days, and she enjoyed his recounting the details of his journey, even though the changes were quite obvious. He was less stressed, taking better care of himself, coming home in a better mood, and best of all they were connecting again. The old Matt was back and she loved it.

“I’m really glad you recommended counseling,” said Matt. “I was skeptical but this stuff really works. For the first time in years, I feel I’m in charge of my life again, and it feels great! It now seems so obvious. Why should I accept things as they are, when I can change them. All I needed was a plan and a coach.”

That was it, the very moment when it occurred to Beverly that she too could use “a plan and a coach.” “I’ve got something I’d like to work on,” announced Beverly with a hint of reluctance in her voice. “I’m sure you won’t be surprised but it’s hard to talk about, even with you.”

Beverly went on: “I know you love me anyway, but I’ve gained nearly 30 pounds since we got married. You’ve seen me on numerous diets and you’ve seen me give up on numerous diets.”

“You’ve also seen me get fired up about one new exercise program or another, again and again! Yet, I keep gaining weight and I get more and more frustrated. I eat when I’m not hungry, and I eat all the wrong things. I feel like I’m at war with my body and with food, and each day I lose another battle. Seeing how you’ve responded to counseling, I think I should try it myself — but I’m afraid it’s just one more thing I’ll try and abandon. I’m scared to death this problem won’t go away, and will only get worse.”

“Then make an appointment,” said Matt. “I’m now a believer, but I didn’t start out that way. Give it a try. What have you got to lose?” Realizing the unintended pun, Matt quickly added: “Except of course all these bad feelings about yourself and all the frustration about not seeing progress.”

So Beverly made the call, choosing to see Bill and aware he’s worked with food and weight problems for over 30 years. She found that reassuring but she was also aware of her anxiety and skepticism stemming from many other times when she allowed herself to feel encouraged, only to be disappointed one more time. Well, here she was, ready to give it one more shot. She promised herself she’d go into this wholeheartedly, and she’d be honest, both with herself and her therapist.

In her session Beverly found herself being more honest about the problem than she had ever been before, even with Matt. She shared how the problem was worse than occasional compulsive eating. She felt cravings day and night, often eating secretively with a sense of shame and guilt. She felt caught up in a vicious cycle of emotional eating to deal with stress, anxiety and depression. She struggled with body image distress, and self- esteem issues. The more she gave into the cravings, the more she felt self-disgust and despair, and a feeling of loss of control that she was sure would lead to weighing 400 pounds if she couldn’t stop. The more she searched for perfect control, the more she felt out of control.

Bill was reassuring: “You’re not alone. More than 3 million women meet the diagnostic criteria for Binge Eating Disorder or BED, and many millions more have the symptoms you are talking about, although to a lesser degree. You need to know that it’s a treatable problem. We just need to break it down into bite-size pieces and systematically work to stop binging episodes. We will move gradually toward maintaining a healthy weight, and work continuously to defuse the thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that contribute to binge eating.”

“Let’s talk about solutions. First, let me introduce you to something called “WOOP.” In 2001 psychologist Gabrielle Oettingen introduced a problem-solving and motivational strategy called Mental Contrasting (MC). Previously psychologist Peter M Gollwiter had developed the strategy of Implementation Intention (II). Together these strategies provide an excellent tool for making major changes. WOOP is an acronym for the four steps involved in this powerful combination.” “The W stands for Wish. The first step is to identify an important but feasible goal. The first O stands for Outcome. This is the imagined positive future outcome of achieving your wish or goal. The second O stands for Obstacle. This means identifying and imagining the most critical obstacle standing in the way of fulfilling your wish or achieving your goal.”

“Mental Contrasting contributes the three WOO steps. Intention Implementation contributes the fourth step, P which stands for Planning. The task of planning is to develop and if-then plan to deal with each obstacle identified. If a particular situation happens, then you will engage in a specific behavior that helps you overcome the obstacle and achieve your goal.”

“Robin and I include one more step, Visualization Meditation (VM), a mental rehearsal of WOOP. Altogether, MC+II+VM adds up to a powerful strategy for bringing about change. Now let’s talk about your personal WOOP, starting with your Wish. Let’s talk about a Wish that is very important and very feasible. What would that be?”

Beverly replied: “Actually, I have several wishes and I’ll try to make them all “feasible.” First, I’d like to have a body I wasn’t ashamed of. I know I’m not going to be a Vogue model, but I want to feel fit and healthy and have a healthy weight – that I accept. Secondly, I’d like to know when I’m hungry and when I’m full, and eat enough but not too much. I want to feel satisfied and know when to quit. Third, I’d like to make healthy choices consistently, and I definitely want to stop binging. Fourth, I’d like to have food be just food, something I could enjoy without guilt and anxiety. I want to stop worrying about food and weight. I want to stop being depressed. I want to stop being terrified that it’s going to get worse. How’s that for my Wish?”

“You’re right,” Bill said. “You have multiple wishes and that’s okay for now. When we get down to work we will be applying WOOP separately to separate wishes. For now though, this is great. I’m writing it all down.”

“Let’s talk about Outcome. Imagine a positive future. What would that look like?”

Beverly thought a moment, again reminding herself to keep it “feasible.” Well, I guess I’d be healthy and okay with that. I’d have healthy behaviors and a healthy body and a sense of well- being. I’d feel okay about myself. I would feel free. I would be happier.”

“That’s a great vision,” Bill said. “Let’s talk about Obstacles. Again since you had multiple Wishes, I’m assuming you’ll have multiple obstacles. What do you see getting in the way of your Wish and desired Outcome?”

“That’s right,” replied Beverly. “I can think of a bunch. There is boredom when Matt works late, and stress when I’m facing deadlines. Either way I eat. There is the difficulty I have with almost any negative emotion, and I eat. There is the frustration I feel each time I get on the scale. There is the shame and guilt I feel when I’ve given in one more time and eaten the things I shouldn’t be eating. There is my inability to stick to a diet or an exercise program. There is also the fact that sometimes I just want to give something good to myself. Sometimes I just want to feel nurtured.”

“Also, some food seems irresistible, and I’m easily triggered. For example, driving over here I saw a billboard that advertised an egg and cheese burrito – and I found myself craving one, in spite of the fact that I’d just had a substantial breakfast and was already full. It’s maddening!”

Bill had been furiously trying to keep up with his note-taking. “That’s quite a list, and I’m sure there’s even more. The final step is P for Plan. For each Obstacle you identified we will develop an If-Then Plan. Finally, we’ll talk about mentally rehearsing the follow-through on your Plan through something we call Visualization Meditation. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

“First however, let’s talk about doing some basic work creating a mindful awareness of your food behaviors, along with getting going on developing positive new habits. Food and weight issues can be complicated. For the next few weeks, while we’re working on those issues, there’s a lot you can do to develop a new awareness of food behaviors and begin changing some basic habits.”

“Much of what you’ve described as a problem is really a habitual response to stress, anxiety, and depression. Believe it or not, the problem behaviors are habits meant to help you nurture yourself and avoid pain. Unfortunately, these habits have just the opposite effect. However,

habits can be changed and our understanding of how your brain forms habits can be very helpful.”

“Your brain is constantly forming habits as a way of conserving mental energy, freeing your brain up to deal with more complex issues. However, some of those habits are self-destructive, such as binge eating as a way of dealing with negative emotions. Through a process of clarity of intention, increased awareness of your behaviors, an ongoing focus on desired changes, daily practice of new behaviors, and daily assessment and re-assessment of results, you’ll change some basic responses, freeing your brain up to do the “heavy lifting” called for in dealing with more complex challenges.”

“Here’s the plan!” Bill proceeded to explain the following diagram and the daily process for creating new basic habits for dealing with food and weight issues, a process for changing habits Bill and Robin call “Habitualizing.”

“The first “Habitualizing” step is starting the day with a clear Intention. You might post your wish or goal on your bathroom mirror so you see it first thing in the morning. Read it to yourself and resolve to keep the goal before you during the day.”

“The second step is Awareness. Take the Mindful Eating self-assessment and record the results on your profile sheet. This should only take you 3-5 minutes. Looking back on your last 24 hours, rate yourself on a scale from 0 or not true at all, to 4 or consistently true. These are the 10 statements,” said Bill, handing Beverly a copy of the self-assessment.

Bill continued: “This second step is for increasing your mindful awareness – getting some of the basics into your head and keeping these desired behaviors constantly before you day after day, while constantly reassessing your progress. It also helps us become very clear on where the problems are. Troublesome areas can then be worked on more intensively.

The next step is Focus and it involves MC+II+VP as discussed above. This combination of neuroscience derived techniques works wonders at rewiring your brain. ”

“Mental Contrasting means pairing your Wish with the Obstacle. The wish by itself might actually be counterproductive as your brain might be somewhat satisfied by the fantasy with the result that you are less inclined to follow through in reality. However, research has found that pairing Wish and Obstacle greatly increases the probability of making desired changes. Add to that an if-then plan for each obstacle, and throw in mental rehearsal through Visualization Meditation, and you have an action plan for making big changes.”

“Then throughout your day you practice these new behaviors. It won’t go perfectly but don’t worry about it. You are a work in progress and patience is vital. The following day you repeat the process and day after day you continue – an ongoing repetition of Intention, Awareness, Focus, and Practice. Before you know it, you’ve developed strong new basic behaviors. Those behaviors don’t solve everything but they constitute a powerful foundation that we can build upon. Your brain will be freed up from having to decide any given moment on little things, instead being freed up to focus on more complex issues.”

The best news – all the above takes about 10 minutes a day.

Bill apologized for talking so much and assured Beverly that in most sessions she would be doing most of the talking. This first session was for treatment planning and getting her going. “So, you can begin tomorrow with the Habitualizing practice and next session we will pick up where we left off on WOOP.”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Beverly. I was unsure what to expect but I’m a whole lot more comfortable now that I can see the structure of what we’re doing. It’s very different from what I’ve experienced in the past and I’m encouraged. I’m eager to get to work.”

Quick Start: things I can start doing today

You don't need to have an eating disorder in order to derive substantial benefit from mindful eating. Simply follow these guidelines:

1. Allow sufficient time for meals.
2. Eat without distraction, or having to deal with stressful tasks.
3. Relax, following the principles learned in this program.
4. Focus on the food in an enjoyable, appreciative manner.
5. Slow down. Strive for a relaxed, meditative approach to eating.
6. Try to enjoy every bite, with gratitude and appreciation.

It takes practice, but if you are like our clients, you will find yourself choosing the food you really want to eat rather than convenience food or food that simply tastes good due to high fat or sugar content. You will find yourself over time not only making better food choices, but enjoying your food more, while eating less. Our clients often lose weight without ever having to discuss diets are calories. Check it out!

If you find yourself running into difficulty, you might try answering the following questions:

My Choice 3 Personal Development Worksheet

1. In regard to Mindful Eating, what is the behavior or situation I want to change?

1. How would I describe my present Choice 3 performance?

1. What are the specific cognitive, behavioral, emotional changes that I would like to make in regard to Choice 3?

1. What are specific ideas and actions for meeting my Choice 3 goals?

1. What are the barriers such as negative self-talk or lack of time that might prevent me from reaching my goals?

1. What are the specific steps that I am going to take to bring about change? When?

1. Who will be helpful or supportive in my change efforts?

1. How will I be rewarded when I am accomplishing the changes I desire?

1. I am committing to:

Journaling

Research suggests that one of the most powerful ways of managing your food intake J is simply keeping a food journal in which you write down everything you eat as stated frequently throughout this book, you cannot change something you are not aware of. Keeping a food journal helps you become mindful of what you actually eat during the day. However, it’s important to not use your food journal as a way of “guilting” yourself, or making you feel bad about your eating habits. It’s simply a way of becoming more conscious and thereby having the opportunity to make positive changes.

Additionally, here is another journaling idea that we have found to be very helpful. At the end of each day, write down:

1. Three things that went well today in regard to mindful eating.
2. Why did they go well?
3. Why is each of the three things important?
4. How could I get more of this into my life?

This is powerful. Research has demonstrated that keeping such a journal with a daily focus on things that are going well has a powerful effect on developing strong positive behaviors. Connecting what went well in eating mindfully with your own specific actions in producing positive results, why these things are important to you in your overall mindful eating plan, and the role of your mindful eating choices in getting more of what you want, is transformational. Over time you will have rewired your brain to eat more mindfully.

Further Reading

Albers, S. & Cheung, L. (2012). Eating Mindfully: How to End Mindless Eating and Enjoy a Balanced Relationship with Food. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Bays, J. (2009). Mindful Eating: A Guide to Rediscovering a Healthy and Joyful Relationship with Food. Boston, MA: Shambhala Publications Inc.

David, M. (2015). The Slow Down Diet: Eating for Pleasure, Energy, and Weight Loss. Rochester, NY: Healing Arts Press.

Fuhrman, J. (2013). Eat to Live Cookbook: 200 Delicious Nutrient Rich Recipes for Fast and Sustained Weight Hanh, T. (2010. Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life. New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Fuhrman, J. (2013). Eat to Live Cookbook: 200 Delicious Nutrient Rich Recipes for Fast and Sustained Weight Loss, Reversing Disease, and Lifelong Health, New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers Inc.

Oetinger, G.(2014).Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation. New York, NY: Penguin Group.

Pollan, M. (2001) . The Botany of Desire. New York, NY: Random House.

Sapolsky, R. (1994). Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers. New York, NY: W. H . Freeman.

Tribole, E. & Resch, E. (2012). Intuitive Eating. St. Martin’s Press: New York, NY.